Discussion for Public Library Users
(hereafter referred to as PATRONS)

You must like libraries, since you use one. We the staff wonder sometimes how MUCH you like them, or US. (I’d had a bad day when I wrote this… )

All libraries differ in their structure and funding. Some of the following may not apply to yours.

    Did you wonder why I mentioned the word “ patron”? This implies  that you are a supporter of the institution.  Contemporary approaches to public service encourage the use of the word “customer.”  Yes, you are a customer, but we ARE NOT WAL-MART.  We want you to be satisfied with your library experience, but you share the responsibility for that satisfaction.

      Do you still have the literature we gave you when you acquired your library card? In it are listed the responsibliities that go with your membership, such as returning things in good condition.  You may swear you left that item in the book drop, but if we didn’t find it, we have no way of knowing whether or not you told the truth. (Yes, people lie to the library, as well as steal our stuff, every day.) So don’t be surprised when  you get a bill for that item.

       We ARE there to help you. When you can’t find something, please ask. You are not bothering us – that is our job. If you don't understand how stuff is catalogued, or where it's located, we can explain. (I had a patron hand me a slip with a non-fiction call number on it and say “I couldn’t find it in either C or K.” Duh – C and K are in FICTION.)   BUT – this does not mean we can (or will) do your homework for you. We assume that you have made an effort to find the material you want before you ask. If you are hitting us up because you refuse to learn how to use a computer, don't expect sympathy! We had to learn it, so you can too! (Yes, some of us are not all that computer literate!) If you need help using the catalog system, hopefully we will have a few free minutes to help show you. Or there may be a class for this offered by the library. My branch is very busy and we can’t usually spare much time. (Hint: in almost all computer programs there is a HELP file… do you know what RTFM means?)

    Speaking of COMPUTERS –

YES OUR CATALOG IS COMPUTERIZED.
NO WE DON’T HAVE CARD CATALOGS ANY MORE.
GET OVER IT.

The computers make it possible for us to do all the things you like – reserve books, transfer, find stuff at other libraries, post meeting schedules for the entire system, put our catalog on the Internet so you can find things at home.

         Do you have any idea how much time and  money this saves us – and YOU, our source of funding?

You can’t have just one card catalog. There are subject, author and title catalogs, to name just three. All of these have to be duplicated at every branch. All of them require LOTS of human time to keep them updated, especially if new items come in every week. An integrated computer catalog system means a handful of people can do all the cataloging for the entire system. I have never seen a card catalog that was always up-to-date. On the other hand, if you can’t spell well, they were easier to use.

      Re Internet computers – we will never have as many as we need, there simply isn’t enough money, or space to put them in. You would be surprised how cheaply you can buy a basic used "net cruiser" for home use.  We do have to limit the amount of time you can use them, thanks to high demand and the Net addicts who never get enough (their abuse is the reason we had to put those rules in place).
And if our computer system is not working, there are still some things we can help you with. We have more than one system, too; if the circulation system is down, that doesn't necessarily affect the public internet computers, or vice versa.

    Hours   Back to not being Wal-Mart. When you entered the building you walked past some kind of sign stating hours of operation (just like a store – the kind that’s not open 24 hours). Many library systems do not pay overtime, so if we have to stay late because you didn't get all your business finished, we aren't getting paid for that time. Therefore your library probably closes PROMPTLY at the stated closing time.

If you don’t know what our hours are, please call us. If we’re closed, we probably have a recorded message with that info. Or look in the phone book, it might be there. We do close for holidays, and perhaps other times, but probably not many of either. Only those who are fortunate in their funding can be open seven days a week.

     Sometimes we close for emergencies. Our computers won’t work without electricity, after all, and we can’t find or transfer any materials without them. Nor is anyone interested in working in an unheated building in the winter.

  Quiet   Actually, the quiet library has gone "the way of the dodo." It's more of a community center now, so it can get pretty noisy.
  But that's no excuse to be having a LOUD conversation on a cell phone there - so please go out in the lobby to do that, OK? And while you're at it, please turn off the ringer while you are visiting.

    And other info covered by SIGNS –
    At my branch we call the ability to read books, but not signs, “library dyslexia.”  We post signs about closings several days/weeks in advance (to little avail, as dozens if not hundreds will ask us the next day why we were closed). Then there are the signs about where to get Internet service, where the book drop is located…
     Did you notice any signs like that lately?

Oh, and btw, the most frequently asked question in libraries is "Where are the bathrooms?"  In my branch, you walked right past them on the way in.

    SUPPLIES– for those of you doing school projects
      I know this sounds redundant, but WE’RE NOT WALMART.        

So, did you bring the markers, glue, paper, scissors, pencils and whatnot that you need? No? Guess what – we don’t have any. And if we do, we need it. We’re on a budget, you know… and there’s probably a store up the street where you can buy that stuff.

    And now for the  KID STUFF!    (Thanks to Karen for this part)

   We aren't Chuck E Cheeze or Kids R Kids, either.   We welcome children and want them to be comfortable using the library, BUT--

 - There are basic rules of courtesy and conduct that apply to EVERYone, regardless of race, religion, gender, size, disability, OR AGE. If 86- and 26-year-olds aren't allowed to beat/yank/swing on something until it breaks, or scream at the top of their lungs for 15 minute stretches, neither are 6-year-olds. Which segues nicely into...

"The library does not stand in loco parentis" (in place of parents)
- PARENTS ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR THEIR UNDERAGE CHILDREN!!
PERIOD. NO ARGUMENTS. NO EXCEPTIONS. NO EXCUSES.
Library staff and their patrons are not your surrogates -- ethically, morally,or legally. Parenting your child is YOUR job. (But if you don't tell them not to climb on our equipment, we will!)

     - You don't want them looking at birth-control or body-piercing websites?
Staff are unable to closely monitor what your children do online. (Some libraries use filtering software, but that has never performed perfectly.)

     - You can't watch them and look for your own books at the same time?
Plan ahead--maybe when you are together is NOT the best time to look at the "grown-up" stuff. Focus on the kid stuff now, and come back to look for Danielle Steel and Stephen King later. Or, do it on-line at naptime.
- No internet at home? Please call us, we can reserve books for you or renew your books that way.

   - You can't stop them screaming but you "have" to stay and find a movie for tonight? If your metabolism ran as fast as that little one's does, and you'd been chasing long grown-up legs for the last three hours, you would be tired and cranky, too. Please take the poor child home... send someone else out for the movie later.

    - You can't afford daycare for the afternoon/weekend/summer? Please, DO NOT ENDANGER YOUNG CHILDREN BY LEAVING THEM UNATTENDED!! This applies to the library as much as it does to your local mall.  Don't believe it? There are people that have had to be BANNED from using the library for inappropriate sexual behavior TOWARDS OR AROUND CHILDREN.

   - Since you are responsible for your kids' behavior, that elderly person they might knock down while running through the book stacks will most likely be suing you, not the library.

   Your local library may have an Unattended Children Policy, too. One which may state "In the case of unattended children left in the library over ## minutes, library personnel are to inform the police and Child Welfare officials." No kidding. I've seen this in print elsewhere. One parent at a small library, who ignored their closing time, found a note on the front door (in their child's handwriting) saying "MOM, I'm at the sheriff's office."

   We do our very best to make the library a safe, convenient, and comfortable place for everyone to visit, but we are not omniscient, and may be too busy to notice that your child left our building. Only YOU can ensure your child's safety in public places, libraries included.

Coming in 2005 (6? 7?): some musings about the problems in urban libraries - or, Why Do Some Gang Members Go to the Library to Fight/Deal/Steal?

Copyright ©2003 None O'Yours Productions. You, too, can have your favorite library peeve added to this space, provided that you work on the back side of the desk. :D

* Semi-inspired by Lynne Truss, author of Talk to the Hand: The Utter Bloody Rudeness of the World Today, or Six Good Reasons to Stay Home and Bolt the Door   *